Witness Duties: What They Can Take On Before and on the Wedding Day
Since 1998, witnesses are no longer required at the registry office (Standesamt) in Germany. They are still tradition, though, and for many couples the most important support in the whole planning.
Before the wedding
- Listen when you want to talk about planning, family and stress
- Come along to appointments, such as dress shopping or the venue
- Plan the bachelor and bachelorette parties
- Coordinate guests' contributions, such as games, speeches or surprises
On the wedding day
- Contact for vendors, so you are not disturbed
- Keep the rings and hand them over on time
- Keep an eye on the schedule
- Announce speeches and program items
- Carry an emergency kit: bandages, needle and thread, tissues, painkillers, deodorant
- At the end, hand out tips and collect gifts
Witnesses like to help but often don't know what exactly you need. Write a short list of tasks. That is not rude but a relief for both sides.
What to discuss with them beforehand
Many conflicts with witnesses don't come from ill will but from the fact that nobody said what was expected. An honest conversation a few months before the wedding clears that up. Three questions help:
- How much time do they have? Someone who just had a baby or is starting a new job can't craft decorations every weekend.
- What does it cost them? Bachelor party, outfit, travel and hotel add up. Say openly what you cover and what you don't.
- What do you not want? If you don't want embarrassing games or a bachelor party abroad, say so now and not afterwards.
The witnesses and the schedule
On the wedding day the witnesses are usually the only ones who know the whole schedule. So don't give them the plan the evening before, but one to two weeks ahead. Then they can ask questions and save the phone numbers of the venue, photographer and DJ.
If several people help, write down who is responsible for each item. "Announce the cake at 10 pm" without a name means in practice that nobody does it. In FloraWed you can share the day's schedule with the witnesses, including times and responsibilities. What a realistic plan looks like is in the article on the wedding day timeline.
At the registry office
If you want witnesses, they must be of legal age and able to show ID. They sign the record. Clarify with the registry office which documents they should bring.
Say thank you
Witnesses invest a lot of time and often money too. A personal thank-you belongs with that, such as a small gift on the wedding day, a letter or a meal together a few weeks after the celebration. Many couples also mention the witnesses in their thanks in the evening. It doesn't have to be long, but it should come from the heart.
After the wedding
Transport gifts, return borrowed decor, collect photos from guests. Small things that save you a lot of work after a long day.
Don't overload them. Anyone who organizes all day has no fun. Spread tasks across several shoulders, for example to siblings or friends.
Frequently asked questions
How many witnesses can you have?
At the registry office up to two. For the celebration there is no limit, and some couples have a whole group of close friends as helpers.
Does the witness have to give a speech?
No, but many are glad to. Ask early whether he or she wants to, and give a rough length. Five minutes is enough.
Where do the witnesses sit?
Often at the head table. More in the article Head table: who sits where?.
Assign tasks
A checklist with responsible people, so the witnesses see their tasks at a glance.