Plus-One at a Wedding: Who Gets to Bring a Guest?
With 30 singles on the guest list, the question of a plus-one decides 30 additional places. That is not only a budget question. It is also about how your friends feel at the celebration.
Committed partners belong
Married, engaged and cohabiting couples are invited together. Even someone who has been in a relationship for a while should be allowed to bring their partner, even if you hardly know them. A common limit: couples who have been together at least half a year at the time of the invitation.
Singles: with or without?
There is no right answer here. Two considerations help:
- Does the person know other guests? Someone who comes with the whole clique does not need a plus-one.
- Do they know hardly anyone? Then a plus-one is kind, so they don't sit alone at the table.
However you decide, make it the same for everyone. If one friend may bring a plus-one and the other may not, people will talk about it.
What a plus-one costs
Every plus-one is a full guest with a meal, drinks, a chair and a place card. With 30 singles and around 150 euros per person, that is up to 4,500 euros for the plus-ones alone. Then there is the space. If the venue holds 90 guests, this question may decide whether a whole circle of friends can still be invited. How to calculate the amount per guest for your celebration is in the article Cost per guest.
A middle way many couples use: plus-ones only for guests who hardly know anyone else. The clique from school comes alone, because they sit together anyway. The colleague who knows nobody but you may bring someone. Explain this openly, and everyone will understand it.
New relationships shortly before the wedding
It gets tricky when someone has a new partner two months before the wedding and asks whether they can come along. If there is still room, there is little against it. If not, it is fair to point to the rule you set when you sent the invitation. All that matters is that you decide the same way for everyone.
When you don't know the plus-one
Plus-ones who know nobody except their partner appreciate a short welcome. Go up to them at the drinks reception and introduce yourselves. In the seating chart they are best seated at a table with open, talkative guests.
How it reads in the invitation
Write the names of everyone invited on the envelope and in the salutation. "Dear Anna, dear Tom" is clear. For a plus-one: "Dear Anna and guest". If only one name appears, only one person is meant. In the reply form you can also state the number of places, for example "We have reserved 1 seat for you".
When someone asks anyway
Stay friendly and clear. "We unfortunately had to draw a line on the guest count and are inviting only committed partners. We're really looking forward to seeing you." Most people understand immediately.
A plus-one always sits next to the person they come with. Seating a plus-one at another table because the numbers work out makes for a lonely evening.
You need the plus-one's name at the latest for place cards and catering. So ask for it right in the RSVP. And if a couple splits up before the wedding, usually only one of them comes. Ask kindly and adjust the seating chart.
Manage plus-ones
Record plus-ones directly on the guest; they stay together in the seating chart automatically.